"The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away."
Life in the DuBois household has been totally crazy lately. New job, new friends, new routines, new relationships............hard to even grasp all that I have been through in the last month. Kinda crazy. However, I have always done what is right, and rarely did what I wanted. I always chose the right path, simply because I had 4 little ones to always think about. Many times I have walked away from things I have wanted because it was in the best interest of someone I loved. No matter how much I wanted it........if it would directly or indirectly hurt someone I cared about.....I just walked away. At 51, I have decided life is all about me now. Oh, I still care about my childrenl; but finally, I am saying "no" a lot more just because it will put my life in a bind. Still saying yes from time to time, but just like last week, I say 3 no's to one yes....LOL. That is a record 3:1 ! It is funny to say this, but I will not always be here, so they need to learn to deal with there own poor decision making and disasters. I miss my friends here in Berwick. I rarely get to see them anymore, and as the school year has settled and we are all working like dogs, we rarely have time to get together or even text. I am making new friends in NOLA everyday, and God has blessed me with some super schools to work at with super people. I will be super glad when I feel settled a bit, and know all there is to know about the way things are done in Jefferson Parish. Nothing is the same. Drives a person, like me, who likes clarity a bit nuts. I'm getting more forceful in demanding answers, but I will be glad when this year is over. I still have issues with close personal relationships; however, the days of letting someone make me feel like dirt are over....I can say that with certainty. I have this knack for always finding people who cannot or will not communicate! And anyone who knows me, knows I am a person who must communicate otherwise it eats at me like a cancer. In the past I would let things go, to keep the peace, and after a while....the explosion would occur....and then that person is like....WTF is wrong with you. I have caught myself falling back into that cycle, and I cannot let myself go there ever again. I can clearly remember feeling completely justified in a situation, and by the time this other person (whomever it is I am having issues with) somehow turns the situation into it being MY fault. I always seem to find these master manipulators. Well, those days are also gone. If I have to fight to communicate with someone, then I am just letting go and walking away. I don't let go easily. I am a freaking fighter....especially if I feel you are worth the effort, but one person can only fight so long. I am done with fighting years or even months especially if it happens more times than I can count on one hand per month....same crap over and over again. I am worth the unpleasant conversation. I am worth the extra effort. I am worth time. I should not have to prove my worth to anyone....if you cannot see it, then it is time to walk away. Life is too damn short to waste it on people who enjoy playing games, and don't understand what it means to communicate. So to this end blog world, I started with a beautiful quote, now I will end with this:
"Without communication there is no relationship, without respect there is no love, without trust there is no reason to continue."
