Phew! That fill really did it!

OMG, I can only eat about 1/2 cup of food and that is it. I even have to watch how I drink. Too much of anything, and it comes right back up! Tomorrow, I will get on the scale. It has been 7 days since I got on the scale. Would you believe I gained 2 pounds? I was......WHAT?!.....Then, my "monthly cycle" came on Thursday (Jan 13....remember it Susan.....so you won't freak out next month around the 10th). I was like.....O! Fluid. I always gain 5 pounds of fluid prior to that lovely time of the month. I'm writing it down so I can make sure I am ready for it next month. I won't even get on the scale that week...ha!So, I'm anxious to get on the scale tomorrow. Even though I'm not done with that lovely time of the month, the fluid is almost gone. Got a new "do" today, thanks to Katie and Chris. Looks good. Feeling good. Still not ready to blog about the distress in our family right now. Maybe later.

Dr.'s Appt. Update

Ok, lost 2.5 more pounds for a totatl of 43 pounds....halfway there to my short term goal of a hundred pounds lost by my birthday...June 2. Long term goal....To be down to my goal weight of 135 by next Christmas. They gave me another fill, and right now, I can only eat about 2 tablespoons of soft foods. Hope it last so I don't need to go back for a while.

Focus, Focus, Focus.....on weight loss!

At this point, I have lost 40 pounds (give or take a few pounds). I am going in for another fill tomorrow. I'm hoping this will be the last time for a while. I'm in uncharted territory ....I haven't been this weight in quite a while, but I want it to go faster, so tomorrow.....I plan on telling them to "filler up!"

New Year - 2011

"The future is not ours to see, what will be, will be." As I ponder the upcoming year, my blog title reminds me that we can only control our future so much. Life happens. Somethings we can plan for - for years, only to watch our plans fall apart - not be important anymore - or be altered by "life". I have always been a person to dream. My dreams have been big. Things I have wished for or wanted to do. I remember as a teenager, I wanted to be a Forest Ranger at the Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. Ha. I laugh at that dream, but sometimes I think - you should have gone for it girl! I remember looking up what I had to do to be a Forest Ranger. I think about it from time to time. I love nature - the animals - the thought of living in the rustic Rockies - in a log cabin. Ha, ha. I can't help but miss that dream sometimes. I can't help but believe that - that would have been a really cool job. I still want to visit Yellowstone. I have even looked up how soon it would be good to take a trip with my grandchildren. They will have to be a little older to really enjoy what they are seeing. I also wanted to be a Marine Biologist. I thought about that one a lot this year - since the Gulf oil spill. Again, it had to do with the out doors. If I would have gone to school for that, I would have been all up in research. Right in our own back yard here is LUMCON (Louisiana University Marine Consortium). Some of the most renouwned Marine Biologist work out of LUMCON as they research everthing from coastal erosion to the dead zone (and now the spill). I would have really love that job. I have often visited LUMCON in Cocodrie, and it brings memories back to mind of my dream. I have even spent weekends conducting research as a Science teacher. Another dream I had - well, I don't know if it was a dream - but, I was a candy striper at Terrebonne General Hospital for some time. I volunteered on the Surgury floor. I enjoyed helping people. Now that I'm older, I know that I would have never made it being a nurse. I freak out too much when people get hurt. Mentally, I could have never handle it, but I did look into being a Medical Technologist. I know I would have like that. Basically, it was working in a lab. Never once did I dream of being a teacher. Ha. How I got into education, I will never know. I think basically, my sister had gone back to college to be a teacher, so I did too. Since I had 4 small children, none of my "dreams" above were attainable now. So here I am - 48 years old - still dreaming - still going to school to find that perfect job to take me through retirement. Right now, I want to get my ed specialist degree to become an Educational Diagnostician. I dream of moving to New Orleans. I love New Orleans. I love the culture there. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I think it would be exciting. I would love to live in the French Quarter - oh God, that would be so freaking awesome; however, the price of homes in that area are so far out of a teacher's salary range that I literally laugh at that dream. I want to travel. I want to take a few of cruises - Carribean, Alaska, Panama Canal, and of course - a Mediterranean crusise would be the ultimate. I want to go to NewYork. I want to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in person. I want to ring in the New Year in Times Square. I want to go to a Broadway Show - on Broadway. I want to visit the Statue of Liberty. I want to see Niagra Falls, the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, and the Pacific Ocean. I want to visit Los Vegas, Vail, Boston, and Key West. I told you I was a big dreamer. Will any of this come to pass for me? I don't know. However, I keep dreaming, hoping, planning. What will 2011 bring for me? Hmph - God only knows at this point. What will be, will be.