Found It!

Several months back, I wrote a post....................eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.....................hold on...........................eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!! Holy crap!!!!! I had to fight off a huge ant in my bed!!!! What in the world!!!! OMG!!!!! Now, I will not get sleep. Going set up my ant baits under and around my bed. Be back in a sec............................................................................................Mission Accomplished! Ugh!!! It is too early to start having ant problems, but it has been raining. That is when they usually start coming in...to get of the wet soggy ground, but they can go find higher ground somewhere else! Hmph! My chest is hurting. I'm not scared of ants by no means, but just the thought of that thing in MY bed. *Shivers! No one gets in my bed without MY permission. *Expletive, *Expletive, *Expletive! Gosh.....and this was gonna be one of those soul search post....

Ok, back to my original post....*with a headache now........I wrote a post about a dying or maybe an older mother, who looked back on her years of raising her children. I said then, that I knew I had it somewhere.....well today, as I was cleaning out my bedside table....I found it AGAIN. I say again because, I find it, then put it in a safe spot, then can't remember where int he world I put it....HA, so I gotta find it again. Well, I found it again this afternoon....and I said I was not going to lose it again because I was gonna put it on this blog so I won't lose it....HA. So here it is.......

                                                   A Message for Young Mother's
                                                          Things I wish I'd known

                                                                By Mary Costello

Condensed from the Catholic Star Herald:

I've learned a lot in my old age. I've even learned a thing or two about myself. I used to think I was a terrible housekeeper because I could never keep up with the laundry, the dirty ice cream bowls on the counter tops, the newspapers on the floor. One year, when we finally got to the bottom of the piles of laundry in the laundry room, we found clothes that hadn't fit anybody in years. In fact, we found shorts and shirts we had never seen before.

There was a time when I couldn't find a safety pin or sewing needle or a piece of blank paper to leave someone a message, much less a pen to write with. I thought I was just a rotten manager.
     Why didn't I have more drive or ambition?
I tried not to make commitments. When I did, I let people down. I'd promise to got to a meeting, for example, and chair a committee. Then I'd have to cancel at the last minute because the baby got sick.

For years, I thought I was a terrible person because I could never say a prayer without an interruption, and even if I didn't have an interruption, I could only pray about things like, "Please, Lord, let the stain in this shirt come out. It cost too much to be ruined."

       Then the kids grew up and left home.I found I was not a terrible housekeeper; rather, I'd been surrounded by a bunch of busy, normal, wonderful, messy kids.
        I hadn't had any energy because I had been working very hard. I wasn't a rotten manager; it's just not possible to keep up with so many people.
        I wish I'd known that then!
        I wish I had been able to acknowledge that it's OK to have dishes on the counter and newspapers on the floor because the most important thing is rocking the baby.

I wish I had been able to say: "I'm terribly sorry I cannot come to your meeting. Maybe someday I'l be able to get involved and make a commitment toward a more loving world. But right now I have to stay at home and make sure we have a loving world here on Bradfield Drive.
       I wish I would have understood that Jesus was saying: "When you rock that baby and sing that baby to sleep, that is your  very best prayer. By loving that child, you are loving Me. All I ask of right now is to model my love for your partner and your children. All I expect you to do is love."

      We are called to love. That's all.
       I wish I had realized it earlier.

My very first principal had given this to me and another coworker, who by the way, is now my assistant principal. I can remember being overwhelmed with my 4 little children. Unlike the author of this story, I was a single mom. I can remember thinking all of the things she spoke about in the above story. I barely slept. There was just not enough hours in the day. As the kids got older, I enlisted their help in keeping the house clean, but still the majority fell on me. I felt guilty I suppose. I remember reading this and feeling somewhat relieved.....here was someone telling me it was okay to have dirty bowls on the counter and piles of dirty laundry on the floor. Unfortunately, I still couldn't leave my house like that for months....but, dirty bowls left on the counter until the morning or the next afternoon....yea, I think I could do that. And I did. I just kept remembering that it was more important to spend time, and make memories than keep a spotless house. Yes, I couldn't take it longer than a few days.....then I would go off the deep end and everybody had to chip in, but it was an improvement from the sleepless nights and guilt trips I had felt. I'm glad I got my hands on these inspiring words....coming from another woman who had a house full of kids makes it even more meaningful. Smooches blog world.