Looking forward to a 4 day weekend!

Well, I'm feeling pretty good these days. We only work 4 days this week and 4 days next week. That means we have a 4 day weekend with Friday and Monday off! Yippeeeee! Picking up the boys Friday morning, then headed to Leesville. Spending Easter with my babies. I can't wait to see those kiddos. It won't be all fun as we are moving them to Rosepine....just 15 minutes up the road. So I'll be all soar :( from lifting. I'll come back on Monday for a day of rest before jumping into our 2nd 4 day week. Then we have testing week....I'll be a basket case, as usual, but then a week later is Spring Break 2013. Thus far, I have a trip to NOLA planned with the faculty of BES. We are having a "team building" meeting! Love it! Then, I'm headed to Jackson, Mississippi, with my aunt and buddy to see an art show. By then, I will be done with that miserable thesis, and hopefully looking at graduation. Therefore, the month of April is pretty much planned out already. Once we come back from spring break, we have 4 weeks of school left. The school year 2012-2013 will be over. I'm taking my 2nd summer off in a row; however, this one will be quite different. I will NOT be looking at another upcoming semester in college. No way! I'm done! What will my next school year look like? Who knows? BUT, I'm ready people!

Am I an option?

"When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It's that simple."

Unfortunately, I am feeling this way lately. It is simple to say that I will remove myself from the equation, but it is harder to do. I have successfully removed myself from one situation where I was clearly an option, but I didn't want to admit it to myself I guess....... Although, I knew deep down inside. It is quite clear now. I am working on removing myself from this other situation where I have been an option for many years. This one is more of a hassle than anything, but I have to step out of my comfort zone and do it. I am NOT a freaking option! Ugh! Why does life have to be so difficult?

Living in Peace

"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is rather than as you think it should be."

Peace is one of those gifts that money cannot buy. I am person who enjoys peace. I do not like drama at all. In fact, I stay as far away from it as I possibly can. However, in my line of work, drama seems to be a daily occurrence. If it is isn't coworkers, then it is parents. If it isn't parents, then it is supervisors or administrators. Rarely does a week go buy where we do not have drama-of some kind-at school. The lack of peace in my life lately revolves around my inability to accept life as it is rather than the way I think it should be. That goes for my professional life; as well as, my personal life. I tend to analyze everything. I should have been a research scientist.....maybe I would be so tired of analyzing data that I wouldn't do it also in my personal life, but I'm not a research scientist, so I not only analyze everything at school, but also in personal life. I look at things through those glasses that see things as they should be.....the most experienced, most educated employee get the promotion, and the nice, sensible, kind, woman gets the prince. That is the way I feel it should be; but in reality, the uncertified, young, less experienced person get the promotion and the lying, cheating, deceitful woman gets the prince. I've started forcing my self to see things as they are. Stop making excuses for those who disrupt the peace in my life. I hate cutting people out of my life, but I have to have peace. Otherwise, I think I just might go "bonkers." Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

Pulling up my big girl panties :)

Ok, so the Susan has not been feeling quite right for the last 3 or 4 days. Something was not quite right. I had a slight headache all the time, was sleepy all the time, stressed out, and not wanting to do much of nothing. Sounds like depression, but actually it was my blood  pressure. One of my interpreters mention she had a headache from starting her blood pressure meds and it made me think just maybe mine was low, but it was the opposite....high. The nurse at school took it twice....145/98, then 155/102....yikes! I have been off blood pressure meds for a year, but I think all the stress of finishing this degree and my job is putting undue stress on me. So, went to see the doctor this morning. Back on blood pressure meds and my anxiety pills. I hate taking meds, but I got to see this through I guess. Took today off and taking tomorrow off too. I just need to chill.  If I can just make it through the middle of May, I think I will be fine. All of my thesis stuff will need to be turned in by April 26. I can't wait. So this is my quote for today:

"Sometimes you just have to pull up your big girl panties and do it whether you like it or not."

TGIF is all I can say!

"Life would be a million times better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout the day."

Ok, so this has been one long ass week. I am so freaking tired, and pissed, and stressed to the max. When I saw this quote....I couldn't help but think of how much better I would feel if I could beat the hell out of several pinatas throughout the day,  and have chocolate candy bars fall at my feet. HA! Talk about a stress reliever!

So what is a single middle age woman doing on a Friday night after a very long work week? She is sitting in her bed, clipping coupons, drinking her red wine, texting and talking to friends on the phone and computer, in her comfy clothes.....just chillaxin people.....just chillaxin. To some, this may sound boring, but to me....it don't get no better than this. Now tomorrow, I may be ready to head out the door for fun in the sun, but Friday nights are best spent in my bed.

Ahhhhh, nite blog world!

Should I turn the page or close the book?

"There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book."

Funny how this analogy pretty much sums up my life at this point. I have several large decisions to make in the the coming months. Some of these decisions will be difficult, some will be aggravating, some will make me very nervous, and some will be quite easy simply because the people involved will close the book for me,  or leave me no other options but to close the book. I like turning pages, but all too often I realize that the pages I am turning are empty; therefore, closing the book is the only option. Please pray for me as I navigate the rough seas ahead. I will need all the divine intervention I can get. HA.

The Bridge of Faith

"Faith is the bridge between where I am and the place God is taking me."

Throughout my life I have always had such enormous faith in my destiny. God has strategically placed me right where I needed to be at those particular times in my life. However, I have to admit....He has me quite stumped at this point in my life. For some reason, when my youngest daughter graduated from high school, I figured God would move me from St. Mary Parish. I'm not from St. Mary Parish. I felt it has served its purpose in my life....it was an excellent place to raise my children, my children got an excellent education, and I have had excellent opportunities to further my career. I've made many friends here, and although boring as hell, I really liked living in Berwick, LA. Well, it has been nearly 7 years since she graduated high school.....AND I'M STILL IN BERWICK, LA! I have to admit.....my faith is waning. I literally don't see why I'm still here. I thought he would move me maybe back to Thibodaux since my "people" are aging and will need all the help they can get, but nope, I've looked for the open doors quite often, and every time....the door is slammed shut. I don't have the "gusto" for the position I'm currently in anymore. Too much drama with the adults; however, the kids are fabulous. The job has taught me more about "learning" than any other position ever has. I cannot imagine living away from South LA. My youngest son keeps insisting I need to look for a job near DC, but I don't think I could handle the winters. In fact, I know I can't handle the winters. I can't handle the mild winters here in LA! And, I don't want to move too far away from my grand babies either. I wish I could be closer to them, but Vernon Parish pays even less money than St. Mary, and the cost of living is more! So I'm fixing to spruce up the "ole resume" and start fishing again. I'll start within what I feel is the area I feel I would be most happy in. Of course, I will be open to anything God has planned for my life, but I am praying he makes his plan dead obvious....LOL. I over analyze ever freaking thing.  So where is the area I will be looking.....from Lafayette, LA east to NOLA (of course - hehe) and north to Baton Rouge and everything in between. That is 16 parishes to be exact. Do you think I may find one new job that is exciting? God, I am praying that I will find something. In either direction, the maximum I would drive is 1.5 hours. Yes, I would drive the first year. I want to work in the area first, so I am sure of where I want to live when I do move. I hate to admit it, but Lafayette would not be bad. That would put me dead center between my grand babies and my aging peeps in Thibodaux (2.5 hours from Leesville and 2.5 hours from Thibodaux). I'm not a fan of Lafayette. Too many people crammed into a town that is unable to grow  fast enough to meet the needs of the ever growing population. Just visiting makes me anxious. I really want to move towards NOLA. I just love that place, but I will see what comes open. I can't totally eliminate St. Mary either. I would like to though. Real quick like...HA. I'm ready for a new job that excites and motivates me. I am ready for some fun in my personal life. I am ready to travel. I'm ready. I just have to continue to have faith in God's plan. I think I need a hefty dose of patience too. I am getting impatient. Ugh. Ok, let me go to sleep and dream of the perfect life.

Never Regret Anything

"Never regret anything that has happened in your life - it cannot be changed, undone, or forgotten. So take it as a lesson learned and move on."

The above quote is one that I have understood since I was just a little girl. Life is,  what it is. Crap happens. Unfortunate events occur. People come and go. For the most part, I really do not have any real regrets. Oh, there are things I wish I had done differently; however, it cannot  be changed, undone, or forgotten.....so why fret over it. I just make the best of it, and move on. I've become a pro at moving on. So many people hang on to bad decisions for dear life, and all it does is eat at them like a cancer. I just walk away, and try to learn my lesson. For me, learning the lesson is the hard part. I can walk away, let go, move on, but many times when I'm presented with a similar situation, I be damn if I don't do the same thing! Not always, but I have on occasion repeated bad decisions. Most of the time, it involves people who I care about. They come to me for help, and I simply cannot say no. I want to help, but in the end, I get screwed again. I admit, it is hard to swallow that someone you care about does not feel the same way about you. It is amazing...the people I have helped the most in their time of need is the very ones who consistently turn their back on me when I am in need. I have had it happen to me so many times that I rarely ever ask anyone for help. However, I even see it in friendships. When they need a shoulder to cry on, I am the first person they call. However, let me need a shoulder to cry on, and they will "call me back later." Not that I ever really push the issue...it is what it is. I've just learned to handle everything on my own....the hard way of course. In the last few years, I have started to pay people for help around the house. This year, I am firing everyone.....I pay good money, and nothing ever gets done the way I want it. I'm going buy a lawn mower, and cutting my own damn grass. I am buying my own pressure washer, and pressure washing my own house. I am washing my own van from now on. I have skirting to put up, roof that needs to be resealed, plumbing work, etc. This list goes on. I'm going to get it done somehow. I have no freaking choice. No one can/wants to help, and I am tired of paying for half ass work. Ok, so I feel determined....empowered. Moving along.............................